Tying the Knot, Balkan Style

Weddings in the Balkans are like no other. Luckily, we’ve just entered the wedding season. 

People generally get married whenever they want. Factors like venue availability and finances are crucial in determining the date, but let’s face it: the majority of women already have an idea of the season, possibly even the month, for their big day. While some dream of a fairytale winter reception, others choose summer for practical reasons. Because nothing says nuptials like three gallons of sweat dripping from the bride and/or the groom.

Still, summer is the busiest season for weddings. Despite the ongoing inflation, business is still booming. (So is the divorce, but let’s not be party poopers.) Among the trillion things to think about months before the wedding, certain things are bound to happen at every Balkan wedding. Forget about your run-of-the-mill receptions with boring white cakes and predictable toasts. In Serbia, we take the art of getting hitched to a whole new level. Let’s dig into some of the most peculiar wedding customs in Serbia. 

Purchase the Bride, Please

If the groom wants to take his still–fiance to the altar, he has to show her the money. 

The groom brings his entourage (brothers, cousins, friends, and his best man) to the bride’s home. The chances are, the newlyweds had already been roommates before the wedding, so a bit of improvisation is in order. The bride and her friends, sisters, cousins, and bridesmaids go inside a room with the bride’s brother or male cousin guarding the door. The best man then negotiates with the guard about the “price.” A lot of haggling takes place here. 

Long ago, brides were “sold” for pieces of gold until 1846, when Prince Aleksandar Karađorđević issued an order and abolished this “custom contrary to human dignity.” This may seem like a terribly immoral tradition, but the haggling and the price for the bride are merely symbolic—if the groom has enough money to “buy” his bride, he will most likely be able to provide for her in marriage. 

Instead of money, the groom and his entourage can “purchase” the bride with jokes and humor. We’re not trying to promote the art of gold digging, but jokes don’t pay the bills, do they?

Paint the Cars Festive

Decorating the vehicles in the wedding procession is inherently wedding-y in the Balkans. Not a single wedding goes by without the couple’s family and friends decorating their vehicles with festive ornaments. Flowers and ribbons adorn the front and back of cars, and not even the outside mirrors are safe from a bow or two. One important rule for being a part of the wedding procession is that you have to honk from the bride and groom’s house to the wedding venue. All. The. Way. There. 

A patriotic flag or two may be sticking out from the windows because nothing says love for one’s country, like a wedding. 

Step On the Ones You Love

Literally, during the ceremony, when the officials pronounce you husband and wife just before the kiss, there’s a cute custom rooted in superstition that has yet to prove its prophetic qualities. The bride or the groom—whoever’s quicker—steps on their spouse right there at the altar. We’re not talking about breaking your spouse’s foot, but merely a gentle nudge over the toes. The first one to do so will supposedly be the boss in the house. You know, like wives typically are. 

While this custom lacks foundation in reason—whoever steps on whomever first, the head of the house may be a man, but women are their backbones—it’s still cute and funny to see the newlyweds attempting to step on each other. If you find yourself at the Balkan altar and you happen to forget, you can always rely on your close family and friends, as they will probably be screaming STEP ON HIM/HER into both of your ears. 

Show Me the Money

This entry is just a quick reminder of how materialistic the celebration of love actually is. Presents are nice, especially for birthdays, but most people tying the knot prefer receiving envelopes with cash. They have spent a small fortune on throwing you the greatest wedding party in town, and you’re saying thank you and congratulations by bringing them a TV or a dishwasher? 

No, my friend. You bring an envelope to the newlyweds, so they’ll be able to pay off the venue and possibly the band. Envelopes are more convenient to carry, discreet, and don’t require elaborate packaging. A plain white envelope will do, as long as it contains money, money, money. The decent thing to do here is to slip in a note and sign it, but unless you put a lot of dough in it, you may also leave it unsigned. 

Speaking of money, you may also want to bring a few extra bucks for the party. The band may play your favorite song, or you may come up with a funny tune to “order” from the lead singer. They will fulfill your request much easier if you show them the money. In some parts of the region, the female singer is adorned with bills, while the male vocalist jokingly sticks them to his sweaty forehead. We did mention that weddings are a multi-billion dollar industry, right? 

The Kolo

Balkan weddings are notorious for their energetic and infectious kolo dance. It’s a whirlwind of twirling, stomping, and joyous revelry. The only rule? Leave your inhibitions at the door and prepare to have your dance moves scrutinized by the entire clan.

Kolo, or oro, is a traditional Balkan folk dance and an inevitable part of every wedding. No matter how modern and extravagant you plan your wedding, you will never be able to stop the kolo. Imagine a circle of dancers, hand in hand, moving in synchronized and rhythmic patterns. The circle expands and contracts as the dancers weave intricate steps and graceful movements. There are several types of kolo, each with its own tangled footwork, and only a true master is able to perform all of them with equal dedication. 

A word of advice? Do not leave the kolo, I repeat, do not leave the kolo until the music stops. You may need a gallon of water to recover from it later, but you never exit the kolo voluntarily. You may not get invited to another wedding. 

All You Can Eat and Drink

Serbian weddings are not only a celebration of love but also a feast for the senses. One word comes to mind: abundance. 

You can never run out of food at a wedding party, not even if you try. The restaurants and hotels where weddings are typically held are champions in providing enough food to feed three-quarters of Africa, and the couple still takes a considerable portion of that food home. Traditional dishes, lovingly prepared by talented cooks, will have you loosening your belt a notch or two. Female guests in tight dresses have just made the huge mistake of not wearing baggy pants. It’s not unusual to see shirt buttons on prominent men burst during the feast, although, truth be told, the buttons are easier to loosen up from the drinking than the eating.

And what’s a Balkan wedding without rakija? It’s the lifeblood that fuels every festivity in the Balkans (happy or sad), the liquid courage that makes even the shyest of guests boogie down on the dance floor. It also makes some fall under the table or sleeps on a row of chairs. Entire generations speak of the shame individuals prone to rakija have brought upon their families in the past. 

Remember, drinking in the Balkans is a marathon, not a sprint.